Let me tell you that Ive decided to make this blog for you. Not that you'll ever read it, but I guess it helps me feel more like I'm talking to YOU;and I can pretend that you're listening. It's been awhile since that first post. Not much has changed where we're concerned. I have to tell you I'm terrified. We've been married almost 20 years, and I don't know how to let you go. I don't want to HAVE to let you go. I'm also angry. I hate to admit that, but its true. Why can't you answer me truthfully? Either we have a chance or we don't. Its a damn easy question. Whether its a minute chance or not, that's still a chance. Right now, hope is all I have. Its all I've had for these last few horribly messy years. I've lost my mom, had(and still have) financial problems, lost a car, losing a house, and now I'm losing you. You're my best friend. I love you with all my heart and soul. You felt the same way at one point. Where did it go? I've learned so much recently. I've learned to not blame others, but to work on myself. I've learned that I haven't been a very supportive partner, and I need to change that. I've learned that no matter how ticked you get, I'll always romanticize things. Its who I am. I hope you can live with that. My life isn't a whole heck of a lot without you there. My family is you. Its the girls. Its US all together. Its ALL I need. I'd love to write more. Work calls. I'll be back.